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Matt was born in a Communist Internment Camp sometime in the 1980's. He was kicked out in the late 90's for having something some people call "an opinion" and has never returned. He claims it was the best possible route, because the food wasn't that good and he was sickened by the very sight of Emperor Mao's unbrushed teeth. After attending several brainwashing facilities in his youth - here in the United States they are referred to as 'private schools' - he has worked a large variety of jobs, some of them so base and deplorable that if he told you about them in great detail you would most likely get all queasy-like and not want to continue stuffing that giant bagel into your mouth. When Matt is not working he, for fun, is probably sleeping, reading, complaining about the government, making films that make most people uncomfortable, playing with fire and always getting burned, denying he has an addiction to sugar and coffee (either together or separate), irritating women, taking photographs of family and friends in embarrassing situations, traveling extensively (and with great velocity) and writing incomprehensible jibberish about loneliness, regret, Yukio Mishima, Russians in New Jersey and why €20 is most likely too much to spend on a handjob. Matt likes his scotch aged 15 years. He develops crushes rather easily and rarely lets them go (this includes a perverse fascination with Hamtaro that is best left unexplored). He likes sampling cigarettes and cigars from all over the world but claims he does not smoke. His exaggerated mannerisms have been compared to Woody Allen. He thinks he knows several foreign languages, but in reality he barely speaks English. He appears to have some sort of interest in the cinema, although that's been debated by some. A few individuals see Matt as an irritating, passive-aggressive contrarian. Everyone else thinks he is a pretentious fraud and liar. Matt currently lives on the East Coast of the United States. He also lives on the West Coast when the spirit moves him. He likes brunettes but blondes will do in a pinch. |